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I ‘m so upset the comments they said about my preemie baby

Insensitive Comments and Their Impact on Preemie Moms

As we help each other in this online community, we also can help raise awareness about preemie parents and their children. By completing this survey, you can help shed light on a common issue — the impact of inappropriate and insensitive comments made about our preemie children — that is so rarely addressed.

A few notes about this survey:

Preemie moms only, please: This survey requests input from mothers of preemies and/or former preemies only. We are planning future surveys that ask for the input of other family members.
Prizes: Everyone who completes the survey will be eligible to win one of three prizes in a random drawing: a $50 Amazon gift card; a copy of “The Preemie Parent’s Survival Guide to the NICU,” from www.PreemieWorld.com ; and a copy of the “Little Man” DVD, from www.PreemieWorld.com . Complete promotion rules are available here.
Survey results: We’ll share the results of the survey with you here in the community, once we have tabulated the results.

The survey should take about 10 minutes to complete. Thanks for your contribution!

Please answer all questions, as applicable.
As a preemie mom, I’ve heard these negative comments about my child from others (family members, friends, co-workers or even strangers):
Never Occasionally More often than not
Something is “wrong” or “abnormal” with your child
You must have done something wrong in pregnancy to cause the child’s prematurity
Comments as to why you kept the baby alive because medical costs are only going to cost taxpayers in the end
Preemies “are fine when they are home from the hospital and that Mom is just being overly protective” in expressing concern for the preemie’s health
Your preemie needs to be exposed to germs in order to build up his/her immune system
Comments about “how lucky you were” that you didn’t have to get to the uncomfortable phase of pregnancy
Comments pertaining to not respecting strict visiting and hygiene policies
Comments that show lack of understanding that the NICU experience is one that can affect parents for a lifetime and not just a brief time
Comments that show lack of understanding that child development in a preemie is far different than that of a normally developing child and it is not just “a matter of time and waiting” before things happen
If insensitive comments were made by relatives or close friends:
It bothered me a lot and contributed to feeling stressed and isolated
It bothered me a little
It didn’t bother me at all
I’m not aware of any insensitive comments made by relatives or close friends
If insensitive comments were made by casual acquaintances:
It bothered me a lot and contributed to feeling stressed and isolated
It bothered me a little
It didn’t bother me at all
I’m not aware of any insensitive comments made by casual acquaintances
If insensitive comments were made by strangers:
It bothered me a lot and contributed to feeling stressed and isolated
It bothered me a little
It didn’t bother me at all
I’m not aware of any insensitive comments made by strangers
To what extent did you lose friendships and/or relationships with family members due to the lack of understanding by others of the preemie parent life? Choose the best answer.
I lost relationships with one or several people who weren’t that important to me
I lost relationships with one or several people who were very important to me
I lost relationships with many people, most of whom weren’t so important to me
I lost relationships with many people, most of whom were important to me
I did not lose any friendships or relationships
Please tell us a little about yourself and your baby:

What is your age?
Under 20
20-29
30-39
40 or over
What was the gestational age of your baby at birth?
22 to 24 weeks
25 to 28 weeks
29 to 32 weeks
32 to 36 weeks
Is there anything else you’d like to tell us regarding these topics?
May we contact you to discuss your answers in more detail?
Yes
No, thanks
If yes, please fill out the contact information below. In order to be eligible for the prize drawings you must complete this section.

Your name:
E-mail address:
Daytime phone number

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