Knowing a couple that have just had a premature baby can be a worrying time, you feel concerned but also worried of what to say just in case you say the wrong thing, ring at the wrong time if the new parents are resting, upset or the baby is having a few problems, it’s a very difficult and confusing time for the new parents. Having a premature baby may well be the most stressful things that will ever happen to any parent. They may be at once terribly worried, yet fiercely proud and protective of their new baby. parents of a newborn are more likely to feel alone due to family and friends avoiding them at this critical time in their life so they need to know that the family and friends are around for anything as they will need all the support they can get. They may not know how to react, and neither may you as a friend or family member. They may snap and not be themselves but this is due to the massive stress of dealing with this precious life they have brought into the world being so don’t panic just be there for them.
Try not to do anything to make things harder for the parents of a premature baby they will be going through enough and don’t need other worries remember it is a very difficult time for them.
‘congratulations’ will not really be a good thing to say be aware of what the troubles the parents maybe going through and the fears they have for their baby. Just be there for them, see how things are going, be reassuring but not to much.
Buy a gift for the baby to show recognition of the birth (although the outcome of a premature babies life maybe unknown) this will still be much appreciated by the parents.
Look after pets of the premature baby’s parents to less the worry.
If the parents have an older child offer to help as it will be needed looking after this child specially through this emotionally stressful time.
Send flowers and cards that have picture of a health full term baby may make the parent feel uncomfortable and stress a little so maybe a blank card with a teddy picture and you could find your own poem or write something from your heart, but be aware of what you are having sent in the flowers such as flowers that may look or are known for funerals.
Parents of a premature baby need all the comforting they can get. Things like supermarket shopping and cooking a meal can be unbearable for parents trying to cope with a baby in precarious health so little things will help them but do it with discretion so it doesn’t look like you are fussing.
See if it is ok with the parents for you to visit or how they want to manage visitors, and follow their wishes. If you are a close family member, you can keep family and friends updated on the baby’s health so that the parents don’t have to deal with discussing the sensitive matter to so many people.
Be there for the parents, its hard so don‘t keep away but Try to stay the distance too – premature babies can be in hospital for months and with support from friends and family often drops off over time while the parents are becoming increasingly exhausted with the hospital routine. There maybe a need for support increases as time goes on.